While reading your blogs I realized how much I missed mine. Each day I want to write and share but usually nothing comes. Since April it has been very hard. Seems before it was easy to express myself and now being cleared of all the CLUTTER within me leaves me wondering if I really have much to say.
I am so happy poor but very, very happy. I am at peace and seems I had posts so full of sadness and despair oh yes Joy as well if you looked deeper within it was there but really I was just not whole.
I still see things others will never get and it is OK maybe they are not meant to.
Ok on with today’s RARE BLOG really from me NOT A RE-BLOG he he READY?
So I have not seen much of my Mom since my return from retreat and she has not ben well so I made it a point when I got my check this month to take the $30 in gas right out and go spend sometime with her after I was done with Shoulder PT appointment. Ron and JT came with me as even she is feeling more like herself never will something from China be consumed in my home by ANY OF US!
So I get to Mom’s and she is doubled over unable to stand up straight I tell her to use the cane more to hold herself up though her hands are bad and I understand why she doesn’t. She has had RA for 40 years or better been crippled then better now her spine is worsening as she has lost so much of her height. She now has 2 cracked or broken vertebrae she will never tell me as too many years I was broken so she tries to toughen it out. She actually said she was ready to go. What the hell does that mean? Ready to go she is healthy as an ox except for the pain and she refuses anything but Tylenol and we all know the dangers of that drug.
So I had gone down with the full intent to scrub floors, clean refrigerator, scrub the stove things you ought to stand to do and need to do for more than a minute. I went around the property of this home I grew up in and admired all the flowers she grew. She had some beauties. I went out to the front yard and saw a section of the garden beds I had done so much work on my whole adult life now looking so pitiful. I asked what she wanted to do about it as she insists she loves her home and doesn’t want to sell and move in with one of us or her own apartment with little she would have to do but care for herself. She says “I can’t do it anymore”. I have known this for a long time hell I can not do what I used to and I am 20 years younger. So I get her garden cart, shovel, rake and a bucket with soil and proceed to dig every last Iris and Lily mixed in with weeds and grass out of the front bed. I took each one and trimmed back the green growth and cleaned the roots and set them aside. I worked for 2 hours on them alone I did that sitting on the same front stairs as I had when I was a little girl all the while watching Mom insisting on sitting outside with me and JT she sat in a plastic lawn chair. Same kind I did my retreat in not that comfortable.
After I had them done I moved on to trim a bush them I really trimmed it pretty much till it was just above the soil as there was so much dead branches soon she would lose them anyway. As I worked on my feet she tried to play a little with JT. It was warm so the dog did not mind resting a lot.
I got to this beautiful bush and knew if it was up to me to add a fresh coat of paint to the front of this house I could not have shrubbery against it so again I began a hard prune taking out many dead branches. Well This is usually covered in bees and yes it was a beauty but so out of control. I came across something that saddened me. Seems our world is so full of filth and debris and so many slobs our little birds have learned to cope the best they can. See?
So much plastic trash was a part of this poor Mother Bird’s nest
I swear it looked as if it were a home in the projects it made me very sad.
Now wait till you see what her front yard looks like now.
We had not seen that last window for years she will have to pull the blinds down now till she decides if she wants to let it grow back or if we can make this place pretty with something easy to care for. I am not getting any younger either and with injuries even worse. Ron is in no better health he has lost so much weight and muscle and he is diabetic to boot.
All was not worrisome at Mom’s some of the day was delightful which is how I will end this post UPBEAT! 🙂
Mom painted this rock years ago and we thought the bees thought her artwork was real but then a guy I went to school with thought maybe they were just wanting to grab hold so they could get a drink. I told her to place a shallow dish with rock in it so birds could have their baths again 🙂
Remember she loves flowers like me so here are a few I took after I did all the work so they are not that good but still pretty
Thanks for coming to Mom’s with me.
She would love all of you. Each one is so very special to me XO
Folsom Mill Studio/Eunice Miller 
Reblogged this on 20 Lines A Day.
Dear Eunice,
This was a wonderful post. What a comfort you must be to your mother. You have inspired me–I think I will go out and work for a little while in my garden.
🙂 It is good for our souls I think
🙂 enjoy your evening
Oh E this touched me so, I know what you are going through with your poor mum. It is heartbreaking when they say they ‘want to go’, my parents have said it on occasion to. Of course I have the same reaction – you’re not going anywhere. How old is she? Perhaps though it is time for move into a small place or with you- gardening and maintaining a house is so much work, if you have RA it would be near on impossible to keep it up how she would no doubt like. You are also the dutiful daughter and that makes me smile. We can only help as much as possible and be there. Her flower are pretty – the birds nests – possibly not to much 🙂 I am sure you will think of things to post – this for example. I too have these moments of what do I do now… eventually it comes back. (Hugs) to you lovely lady for loving your mum and helping her. xx
Thanks for being so kind to me. I have always tried to be a good daughter just always thought I was not good enough but I am the only girl and brothers are ill and so far away except for youngest and his wife we are all she really has now Dad has been gone 9 years she is just 77 but tired and in pain I took pain meds when I needed them and should still but resting my LIVER 🙂
Thanks for understanding and yes litter for a babies bed is just not acceptable
I am touched by your lovely post and how you helped your mother around her house despite your RA condition. You have a great heart and soul my friend. Take care and have a lovely weekend.
I hurt she hurts and we both push on I unlike her AM NOT READY 🙂 thanks for reading and have a great Sunday as well
Hi Eunice. what a lovely post. It’s hard watching our parents and older relatives getting old and unable to cope. Keeping up a house is hard work – keeping up two is almost impossible, so hope someone else can help her too. Just do what you can and take care of your own health. And make the most of the rest of the warmth and sunshine this month! 😀
Hi Cathy Thanks. She said she was going to pay a man to scrape and paint maybe I should let her or maybe I can scrape she wants the house to look good so when she is gone all of us are left with a chunk of cash I tell her to sell and buy a beach cottage so I can sit by the sea with her 🙂
We are having our Fall Plant sale today Sunday for the Garden Club I hope we sell out!
Rain and cooler then probably 90 F come Wednesday soon all I will get for color in these parts are Fall Leaves 🙂
Enjoy your day and up coming week!
How wonderful you can help your mom and help her stay in her home. I imagine that must be a scary thought to think you might have to leave your home at the end of your life. At least if she does she has such a wonderful daughter to make it easier on her. I love your beach cottage idea, that would be wonderful wouldn’t it !!
You have inspired me to get moving on our new property. Not much pretty to look at in our yards, a nice blank slate, with trees at least. It was really let go as the previous owner moved next door to care for her mother for the last few years and sold our house to us to buy the house from the estate now that her mom passed. I am not sure how she feels about us gutting the entire front yard, she says she is okay with it, but she lived there for close to 40 years. NOthing to do but dig it all out though, bushes too old and woody to keep, and her ivy had to go, my husband hates ivy, so I do feel bad !!
I always enjoy your posts, I hope you will keep writing !!
Awe thanks so much. I never think others will get anything from my babbling 🙂
I try to do everything to make my Mom happy we never know how long any of us have.
A clean slate is awesome mine was all wooded but needed to remove trees for safety of home and barn now starting to GROW AGAIN always for nature and Beauty 🙂
We just had our Garden Club Plant Sale so many looking to get their hands dirty 🙂 it is a good thing 🙂
Hi, Eunice. Hope that you and your mom are feeling better. Know that all of that hard work you put in on the garden is worth it… Things are always brighter when we pull out the weeds and trim the bushes. Thanks for sharing. Blessings to you and yours, Bette
Thanks for reading Bette yes she is feeling a little better and with my shot so far so good 🙂